I gained 47 pounds when I was pregnant with Leo.


I was not one of those cute pregnant women with just a belly.

I was freaking enormous.

Here is photographic proof.


Hot, right?

Here is one from the day before he was born.


A smidge better but still not cute.

I lost 27 of the 47 right away, the last 20 have been hanging around.

I have lost and regained the same 8-12 pounds since then and am really sick of not having any clothes to fit into.

Here are two of me when I was down the 8-12 pounds; note these are flattering photos. You can see the weight in my face.


I do not want to buy clothes for the size/weight that I am.

Which means that I have looked like a hot mess since he was born.

Not awesome.

I have started eating healthier and exercising within the last week and have been seeing everyone with their homemade smoothies and juices.

Joey and I talked about it and decided to drop $44 on a Magic Bullet at Costco.

I tried this Berry Spinach recipe.

It look like this:

Nasty, right?

WRONG! It was freaking delicious.

I am going to search out and try other recipes such as this Kale Smoothie.

Game Plan:

  • Walking 2 miles minimum everyday pushing Leo in the stroller
  • Smoothie for breakfast
  • Salad/Fruit lunch
  • Protein/Veggie dinner

Hopefully my ass will get smaller and fit into my pants.

I will let you know!

P.S. I wish this hot bitch would come back to town!


My boys, my family, my heart.

The past couple of months have been rough on me; illness, lots of traveling and feeling slightly overwhelmed by the big picture, that I am missing everything.

I allow myself to get so bogged down in the high expectations that I set for myself.

I call this the “I shoulds”.

• I should own a home by now
• I should have no debt by now
• I should not be struggling by now
• I should have a college degree by now

On and on and on.

They say that we are all our own worst critic, this is the honest truth.

I beat myself up on a daily basis for the shoulds I have listed and a plethora of others I haven’t.

Since yesterday afternoon I have felt this sense of peace that I cannot explain.

I follow many blogs mostly DIY home décor but see my tastes changing to more lifestyle/family blogs. A guest post “The Grace of Now” on Kelle Hampton’s Enjoying Small Things has made me reassess.

I need to enjoy the now which has always been something that is just beyond my grasp.

The nows are all moments that are perfect in their smallness that I will never see again or ever get back.

The nows are Leo dancing to a diet coke commercial during the Oscars completely on his own.


The nows are a hug from Joey where the warmth of our love is felt and reenforces that he and I are meant to be.

The nows are this little family enjoying dinner together and laughing at how Leo gets so hyped up when drinking water.

I need to envelope my family and myself in love and grasp tightly to that magic.

Having my children look back when they are grown and saying that they had the best childhood is my number one goal in life.

With all of the above said and taken into consideration I am putting the below into place:

• Leave work at work
• Limit screen time when with my boys
• Embrace that I am blessed to have my son and am sharing my life with his amazing father, who loves me
• Place my worries on the back burner

That is my peace.

The past couple of weeks have been so crazy! Traveling all over the place and seeing lots of my friends and family.

We enjoyed the Winter Wonderland Holiday in Pennsylvania.

We had our first real date night since I was five months pregnant at Annie Bailey’s Irish Pub.

Fantastic joint! Great food, atmosphere and prices.


New Year’s Eve we flew home on a cross country flight that had about 30 kids on it. They all took turns (including Leo) screaming their heads off.

Pulled a “mom of the year” move when Leo threw himself backwards out of my arms.

Smacking his head on the floor.

Three hours of “you’re a shitty mom” stares followed. He was fine and iTimed it for the remainder of the flight.


2013 began with a kidney infection/kidney stone which landed me in the emergency room.

They say its equivalent to child birth, pain wise.

It’s not.

It’s WAY worse.

Feeling 100% now.

Continuing the craziness; Leo and I arrived in Utah this morning and are already having a great time.


My sister Bird is truly the best sister ever.


We shopped and hunted for treasures all day.

We went to two Desert Industries (Utah’s version of the Goodwill) which are way better than thrift stores in California.

I scored two nutcrackers for $2.50 and Bird found Valentine’s Day front door decor for $3.00!

Bird introduced me to a department store called Gordmans which is similar to Kohl’s.

Their Christmas stuff was RIDICULOUSLY cheap!

Here is my bounty for the day coming in at a grand total of $7.71.


Here is Bird’s $3.00 score.


Bird and I will be heading to my bff’s daughter’s baby shower tomorrow!

I LOVE being in Utah! It always feels like big hug welcoming me home when I come.

After reading this disjointed post I realized it should be filed under ramblings.

Whatev! 😉

Winter Wonderland

We are on vacation in Pennsylvania and it is a winter wonderland.






Heading into working today was hard as it always is on my Monday.

Leaving my baby hasn’t gotten any easier.

Last week I nearly fell down the stairs getting off BART and broke the heel off of my favorite shoes.

Today, I was feeling crummy already and ended up wearing a pair of shoes I thought were super cute when I bought them.

I wore them to work once about four months ago and got teased at work because they are “too wild”.

As I was getting off at my stop a dapper fellow went out of his way to tell me my shoes were fabulous.

How awesome is that?!

I walked with an extra pep in my step in my too wild, fabulous shoes.


Take two because we showed up at the cash only tree lot without cash and a barefoot baby.

Here is how we carted Winston home when we showed up with cash and shoes on the child.


Boyfriend rode in the front with Joey and I played with Leo in the back.

We chose to go with a small tabletop tree since Leo is a destroyer and the behemoth Higgins last year was intense.

Higgins 2011


Jenkins 2010


Why yes, all of our trees are butlers.

Here is Winston all gussied up and pretty.


Proudly displaying the DIY Snowball Ornaments I made.

We have a tradition of getting an ornament that symbolizes our year together.

This year I decided to make one and it turned out rather large.


Our initials and the year; huge because this was the year we became a family. I know Leo joined us late last year but we were all a hot mess. Trying to figure out how to keep the three of us alive is not what I would call great bonding time. 😉

2011 Ornament symbolizes our move to San Francisco said Captain Obvious.


2010 Ornament just states the year and is a bit cheap and tacky looking. Just like the apartment in Venice that we were living in.


We don’t have one from 2009 but I’m going to have one made at one of those custom websites. It hasn’t been a priority maybe today I will get around to it.

Other favorites:

Leo’s footprint from last Christmas; used my thumb for a size reference.
He was so tiny.


My first Christmas ornament.


My mom buys me a new ornament every year and this year I picked out my own. An owl of course and isn’t he fantabulous?!


Loving Winston! He is my favorite tree so far.

I want to see your trees!

If you have a photo online put a link to it in the comments. If you don’t send me an email at honeybeelion at gmail dot com.


My sweet angel crawled into the basket and snuggled up with the pillow and clean laundry.