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Archive for February, 2013

The past couple of months have been rough on me; illness, lots of traveling and feeling slightly overwhelmed by the big picture, that I am missing everything.

I allow myself to get so bogged down in the high expectations that I set for myself.

I call this the “I shoulds”.

• I should own a home by now
• I should have no debt by now
• I should not be struggling by now
• I should have a college degree by now

On and on and on.

They say that we are all our own worst critic, this is the honest truth.

I beat myself up on a daily basis for the shoulds I have listed and a plethora of others I haven’t.

Since yesterday afternoon I have felt this sense of peace that I cannot explain.

I follow many blogs mostly DIY home décor but see my tastes changing to more lifestyle/family blogs. A guest post “The Grace of Now” on Kelle Hampton’s Enjoying Small Things has made me reassess.

I need to enjoy the now which has always been something that is just beyond my grasp.

The nows are all moments that are perfect in their smallness that I will never see again or ever get back.

The nows are Leo dancing to a diet coke commercial during the Oscars completely on his own.

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The nows are a hug from Joey where the warmth of our love is felt and reenforces that he and I are meant to be.

The nows are this little family enjoying dinner together and laughing at how Leo gets so hyped up when drinking water.

I need to envelope my family and myself in love and grasp tightly to that magic.

Having my children look back when they are grown and saying that they had the best childhood is my number one goal in life.

With all of the above said and taken into consideration I am putting the below into place:

• Leave work at work
• Limit screen time when with my boys
• Embrace that I am blessed to have my son and am sharing my life with his amazing father, who loves me
• Place my worries on the back burner

That is my peace.

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